Special Gift for Helen Hillix Sacred Sexuality Summit Participants

Thank you for participating in the Sacred Sexuality Revealed Summit with Helen Hillix. To help participants continue the work of learning about and healing from the impact of settler-colonialism, imperialism, white supremacy, and capitalism on your relationship to love, sex, and the Erotic as well as your ability to practice sacred sexuality, Dr. Herukhuti offers you the following exercise from our work. This is a special gift for the personal use of summit participants. Please do not facilitate this exercise in part or whole with anyone nor include it in any curriculum without written permission from Dr. Herukhuti.

Sexual Life Mapping™


1 large sheet of easel paper or butcher block paper

1 box of multicolor markers and/or crayons

1 pair of scissors

Assorted stickers, ribbons, magazines, and arts & crafts materials

1 Journal


Part 1: With the sheet of paper and materials available to you, create a map of your life journey as a sexual being from the earliest moment to this moment. It can be as literal, metaphorical, or figurative as you’d like. You can use words, images, symbols, etc. and any form/approach e.g., linear, non-linear.

Part 2: After you’ve completed your map, place it in front of where you are sitting and standing so that you can see all of it. Get grounded and centered where you sit/stand. Look at the map and take 3 intentional breaths, smoothly and deeply. Also your consciousness to browse your map. Recognize the choices you made in representing your journey: the experiences represented on your map and the way you represented those experiences, the present absences and the absent presences, etc.

Part 3: Journal any thoughts and feelings that came up for you in part 2.

Part 4: Journal your answers to the following questions:

      1. Growing up, what words did your family and community have for sex? What did this tell you about their values regarding sex?
      2. What messages did your parents, guardians, or elders share with you about sex? How were the messages communicated?
      3. Growing up, what words did your family and community have for genitalia? What did this tell you about their values regarding those parts of the body?
      4. What did you learn about sex in school and from whom?
      5. What messages did you receive about your first menses, wet dream, ejaculation, or erection? In what context did you receive these messages?
      6. Who were your relationship role models growing up?
      7. What role did spirituality play in your sexual expression?
      8. What did you learn about Black, Indigenous, and people of color sex, sexuality or as sexual beings growing up? In what context did you learn these lessons?
      9. Growing up, what role did race place in your understanding of sex and sexual behavior?
      10. How did you learn what an orgasm was?
      11. Who was allowed to be sexual or express themselves without punishment when you were growing up and who wasn’t?
      12. What sexual taboos existed in your family or community as a child?
      13. What lessons about sex did you receive growing up that you would like to unlearn?

Part 5: If you would like to discuss what you learned about yourself through this exercise or want recommendations for additional resources as a result of this experience with sexual life mapping, you may contact us below.

Thank you and we wish you peace, pleasure, and passion in your journey.